CRES founded 1982  —   Pilgrim Chapel   —   816.753.6719
Key words: Kansas City weddings package officiant minister interfaith Civil Secular Budget mixed marriage same-sex gay LGBTQ Vern Barnet CRES, Kansas Missouri

We draw upon the worlds secular and religious traditions,
respecting the perspectives of both doubter and believer.

at Pilgrim Chapel

For longer rentals,
visit this link, please.

Pilgrim Chapel is an exceptionally beautiful site for your
wedding, and I am delighted the folks there have invited me to lead your ceremony. 

Whether you want a traditional, civil, multi-faith, or
unique service, and whether you plan a private
ceremony or one for family and select friends, you may
find this information and these resources helpful. 

The folks at Pilgrim Chapel and I want planning 
your ceremony to be convenient and cordial, 
and your wedding joyous and memorable. 
Here is  an overview of what you can find here.
INDEX to complete resources including
      About the brief rental
       How to plan your wedding
       The Marriage License and Certificate
      About the minister

When Pilgrim Chapel asks me to preside over your marriage ceremony, I write you to let you know I look forward to sharing your wedding day.

I'll ask you some basic questions so I can get started helping you plan. I'll refer you to some resources on this web site. We can plan together what you want easily by email.

About the brief rental

You have rented an extraordinary facility for your wedding. I always enjoy working with the great Pilgrim Chapel staff. The place is clean, beautiful, safe, and adaptable. But because your rental is brief, you may need to plan your time carefully. The place is so popular, there may be an event right before or right after your rental. 

* The doors open 15 minutes before  the beginning of your rental time to you and to your guests, so you may want to announce a ceremony time a few minutes  after your rental begins, and remind your guests not to arrive before the doors open. If you have musicians and photographers, or you have placed an order from a florist, please let them also know not to arrive until your rental time begins.

* If you have flowers or other simple decorations for the occasion, you will want to allow time for such preparations.

* Unless you arrive dressed for the wedding, you may need time to freshen up. 

* Before the ceremony begins, it takes me about five minutes to prepare the license and certificate, and a few more for your witnesses to sign.

* You may want to allow time before or after the ceremony for photographs within the rental time.

* Many couples like to greet their guests after the ceremony.

You can have a complete, unrushed, and beautiful ceremony by planning the time well. If you may need more time, I suggest you contact the folks at Pilgrim Chapel to see if a longer rental might be possible. The staff there and I are eager to make your wedding all that you want it to be. 

How to Plan Your Wedding

     Please slect your wishes below with
     as much information as you have currently
     and email them to me,
1a. Wedding date and ceremony start time.
      example: June 8, 2025 Saturday 2 pm

2a. First Person's legal name
2b. Name to be used in ceremony
2c. Age today
2d. Address
2e. Phone(s)
2f. Email address

3a. Second Person's legal name
3b. Name to be used in ceremony
3c. Age today
3d. Address
3e. Phone(s)
3f. Email address

4. Will you have a Missouri marriage license or
is this wedding a ceremonial occasion
without legal considerations?
     a. legal with marriage license   LEARN MORE  
     b. ceremonial only  LEARN MORE
     c. any details you wish to share

5. If you will have a marriage license,
    please include the names of your
    two adult witnesses

    to sign the license and certificate here: ________
    If the wedding is just the two of you,
    let the folks at Pilgrim Chapel and me know
    so we can provide two witnesses to sign
    the legal documents.

6. As far as religion goes, the ceremony should be
a. civil (no religious references)
    b. spiritual without reference to a particular faith
    c. Christian
    d. multi-faith or other faith:________________

7. About marriage vows -- 
a. We wish traditional vows.
     b. We will write our own,
         perhaps adapting these suggestions.

8. About readings --
     a. We want no readings.
     b. From the list here 
        we want the following, numbered . . . .
     c. We have chosen other reading(s), 
8.  x. We want the minister to do the reading.
     y. The person(s) to offer the reading(s):

9. How many people (total everyone) might attend?

10. If you are presently out of town,
     when will you both will arrive in Kansas City?

11. List wedding party participants and their roles:
      in addition to the witnesses (#5 above)

12.  After you are dressed, ready for the ceremony,
      a. We are happy to see each other.
      b. We want to wait until the ceremony begins
          before seeing each other.

13. Will you exchange rings? 
     2 rings /  1 ring  / no rings

14. Please include a remembrance of those not with us
     by name: 

15. Your plans for music:  live  /  recorded  /  none
Additional information:
           ADVICE about RECORDED MUSIC

16. Your plans for photography: 
       Before the ceremony
       During the ceremony
       After the ceremony

Here is a basic wedding sequence. WHERE TO STAND
     How might you wish to alter to this plan?

      Witnesses sign the marriage documents
      Informal Greeting and Lighting of Candles if appropriate
      Prelude and special seatings if any 
    Welcome by the minister
    Consent and Presentations
    Prayer [in a religious ceremony]
     Reading(s) if desired
    Vows and Rings and any special rite
    Pronouncement and embrace
    Benediction or Farewell Wish

18. If you have a wedding announcement
     or registry site (,,,, etc),
     noting it here will help me get acquainted
     and prepare for your wedding.

     I look forward to celebrating your love and
     commitment on your Wedding Day!

Vern Barnet

     Let me know if you prefer to be called
     by your familiar name ("nickname")
     during the wedding (Jim instead of James).


This is the usual way the wedding party is arranged
in the chancel (front platform)


     Before the wedding, after I prepare the license and certificate, I invite the witnesses to sign. Most brides and grooms want to be with their guests or have photos taken and not fuss with paperwork after the ceremony, and chasing down the witnesses can be awkward. Taking care of the legal requirements before the ceremony works well for everyone.

     Sometimes it is a good idea to welcome your guests to what may be for them an unfamiliar place, with appropriate reminders (such as the custom of standing when the bride appears) and to preview the ceremony. This makes for a more comfortable and enjoyable wedding for everyone.

About the marriage license:

Pilgrim Chapel marriages require a Missouri License, good for 30 days. Some couples request a Certified Copy when they apply for the License to be mailed to them after the wedding. The courthouse will provide you with both a License for me to return* and a Certificate which is yours to keep after the ceremony.

When you arrive at the Chapel, please place the envelope with the documents on the altar-table.

Then, while your guests are gathering, I'll take about five minutes to prepare documents, and then I’ll invite your two adult witnesses to sign. You have nothing to sign.

Here is more information about the License:

Here is Jackson County's Marriage License website:


* You are welcome to return the license to the courthouse yourselves -- I'll just ask you to sign a receipt to relieve me of this legal responsibility.