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Rules for Repsect / Clear Communication
by Nazarene Pastor Charles Christian

  1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
  2. If I have a problem with you, I'll come to you (privately).
  3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I'll do the same for you.)
  4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, "Let's go to the pastor together. I am sure he will see us about this." (I will do the same for you.)
  5. Be careful how you interpret meI'd rather do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
  6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
  7. If it's confidential, don't tell. (This especially applies to board meetings.) If you or anyone comes to me in confidence, I won't tell unless (a) the person is going to harm himself/herself, (b) the person is going to physically harm someone else, © a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
  8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
  9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; do not let others manipulate you. Do not let others try to manipulate me through you. I will not preach "at" you on Sunday mornings. I will leave conviction to the Holy Spirit (he does it better anyway).