CRES founded 1982 _ On the web since.1997.

Key words: Kansas City weddings package officiant minister interfaith Civil Secular Budget mixed marriage same-sex gay LGBTQ Vern Barnet CRES, Johnson County
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We draw upon the worlds secular and religious traditions,
respecting the perspectives of both doubter and believer.

Please copy these Planning Points and send them to me at -- this will help me know how to plan the kind of wedding you desire.
Vern Barnet

Basic items 0-5; items 6-14 also welcome.

0. We have selected this venue or are considering this type of venue in the greater Kansas City area:

1. Wedding date and actual ceremony start time

2. We want the wedding to be 
   a. very simple
   b. traditional
   c. customized
   d. other ______________________

3. As far as religion goes, the ceremony should be
    a. civil (no religious references)
    b. spiritual without reference to a particular faith
    c. clearly Christian
    d. clearly multi-faith
    e. other _____________________

4. First Person's legal name, age today, address, phone(s) and email address. 

5. Second Person's legal name, age today, address, phone(s) and email address. 


6. Wedding party participants -- such as best man, 
     maid-matron of honor, groomsmen, bridesmaids, ushers, 
     flower child, reader, guest book attendant, parent, 
     musician or sound engineer, two witnesses
    role: name, relationship (age if child)
     Ring-bearer: Timmy Smith, Jim's son (6 yrs old)
     Witness: Mary Smith, Jim's sister
     Processional Escort: George Brown, Jane's father

7. If you are presently out of town, when will you both will arrive in Kansas City?

8. How many guests (total everyone) might there be?

9. Will you write your own vows? Yes /  No  /  Maybe

10. Do you want to include your children in a vow ceremony?
     Yes /  No  /  Maybe

11. Will you exchange rings? 
     2 rings /  1 ring  / no rings

12. Your plans for music:  live  /  recorded  /  none

13. Your plans for photography: 

14. Activities you might want as part of your ceremony from the two lists below ("Common parts of a wedding and options") or your own ideas: 
    Witnesses sign the marriage documents 
    Seating of parents 
    Lighting of candles
    Welcome by the minister
    Exchanging of Vows
    Exchanging rings 

Please send me your responses as a way of beginning to plan your ceremony the way you would like it to be. 

Vern Barnet

Common parts of a wedding and options
    A simple wedding often includes
  • Welcome by the minister
  • Remembrance of those beloved not present
  • Reading or Readings (examples)
  • Exchanging of Vows traditional or you write your own
  • Exchanging rings
  • Pronouncement, and
  • Concluding Blessing or Benediction or Wish
  • Witnesses signing the marriage documents  —    This is often most convenient before the ceremony.
    Some additional options
  • lighting of candles
  • prelude, processional, and recessional (music)
  • remembrance of dearly departed
  • the couple writing their own vows or selecting alternative vows from Vern’s resources
  • a prayer
  • blessings from the families
  • a unity candle ceremony
  • a sand ceremony
  • a wine-box ceremony
  • a drink, wine, or cardamom seed rite
  • a parenthood vow including a child or children
  • giving flowers to parents
  • symbolic gifts
  • remembrances of dearly departed

  • rites from specific faiths such as Christian Eucharist, Hindu aarti, Buddhist bells, Muslim Bismillah in Arabic, Jewish breaking of a glass and Priestly Benediction in Hebrew, American Indian smudging, pagan hand-fasting, and so forth


Vow of Parenthood 
(Call children forward to hold hands with parents:)
     Parenthood brings with it a lifetime of unique responsibilities and immeasurable rewards. As a married couple (names), do you celebrate and welcome these children, (children’s names), into your new union and enlarged family, expanding  your love and commitment as parents to embrace them fully as your children?   WE DO.

(The parents may present their children with flowers or other gifts such as family medallions.) Other options include a sand ceremony, a candle-lighting ceremony, symbolic gifts, and such.