TFN_ASK


Whew, what a long set-up! I hope you don't get water-logged wading through this. I hope it is worth your while, maybe even fun for you as a "literary-type person."  Three PDFs attached.


First: Why.-- Thank you for agreeing to write a comment about the sonnet I'm asking you and several others to consider. As I mentioned, for the 2015 publication of Thanks for Noticing: The Interpretation of Desire, I was pleased with the endorsements of the book, which I promoted and sold out locally. For the revision, I want to draw attention to individual sonnets and promote it nationally. I think comments on some sample sonnets will be an effective part of a marketing effort. I will treasure comments 500-1,000 words, or less than or greater than -- comments of any length! Whatever you have to say, no more, no less.
     I am revising the 2015 edition (Walt Whitman did half a dozen revision of Leaves of Grass, and only death stopped W.H.Auden from tinkering with what he had already published) for these reasons:
     * Artistic pride -- I'm embarrassed by the mistakes and the unpolished poems in the hasty publication, and with nearly a decade's distance I can make very significant improvements.
     * The revision makes me confident of the book's literary merit with its unique prosimetrum format employing the Mass, and the parallels with the struggles revealed in Shakespeare's 154 sonnets.
     * My 154 sonnets may help people with questions of friendship, sexuality, and faith.
     * I am eager to show how the religions of the world can be a spiritual resource and enrich the reader's own background.

Second: Your name.-- Yours and others' comments will be posed on my website and published as a companion volume. If you prefer to write anonymously, of course I'll honor that. The book may well be thought scandalous, heretical, and obscene by some. Since you have not seen the whole book, yours and others' comments will be prefaced with a note that you have not seen the whole book, and were supplied only this sonnet for comment; see the light blue area at the bottom of the provided Sonnet Primer.

Third: timing -- - The sonnet I'm asking you to consider is complex. So please live with it for a couple weeks or a month and see if it has anything to say to you. I am eager for your comment, but I really do not want you to feel rushed. Your token payment of $100 will be immediate.

Fourth: Your own way -- I'm looking for variety of perspective and expression. I'm not looking for praise. What I want is not applause or agreement so much as genuine attention. I'm not looking for erudition, just a thoughtful response. I am not looking for some correct or textbook-type treatment of the sonnet, but rather how different people experience the sonnet.
     What tangents might the sonnet suggest? Does a place or vision or hope come to mind? Is there a word or image, or single footnote, or how the sonnet sounds as you read it aloud, that appealed or repelled you? What stories do you have that might align or contradict the sonnet? What questions does it raise that intrigue or annoy you? Write about that if you like, rather than the burden of the whole sonnet. What I'm looking for is not a literary analysis so much as your writing about something that might be important to you.
     If it is opaque or too much a struggle to read, complain. If you find it a paradise, or an ordinary scene, or disturbing, or disgusting, saying so would add to the credibility of your comment. Maybe the sonnet is a failure, or inadequate as a "scrawl" pointing to a transcendent moment. Maybe the mix of so many referenced religions is overwhelming and detracts from the poem.
     I'm not trying to give you ideas here, but to make it clear I will value any approach that you take with encountering the sonnet. I care more about an honest, thoughtful response to the poem than praise; a tentative assessment or even strong dislike with reasons would be fine -- "I struggled with this and ultimately found it too stupid to bother with, and here's why I wouldn't have except the author asked for my comment," or "I've spent days on this, reading it repeatedly out loud, before I could hear any music in this thing. I'm not sure anyone should have to work so hard to 'get' a sonnet."
     Whatever your personal encounter with the sonnet yields is what I want. Because of your Jewish background, do not be shy about commenting on the passage from the Psalms if that interests you
     And if you decide this is not something you wish to do, it will not damage our friendship as I would not want to violate anyone's sensibilities in any way.

Fifth: The Sonnet and some background. If you want these in hard copy, let me know your best mailing address.

attached with this email,
     a. Here in PDF is the sonnet exactly as it appears on the page. It is in the Gloria section of the book (arranged by parts of the Mass). The revision remains a prosimetrum, so the glosses and other prose are integral to the work, like the Hebrew prophets, Dante's La Vita Nuova, and Nabokov's Pale Fire, more so than like the notes to Eliot's "The Waste Land" which are appendages rather than integral to his poem.
     b. Here is a technical assessment added to the page of the sonnet. 
     c. Here is a Sonnet Primer in case you would like a quick refresher of the sonnet form, especially the Shakespearean style. The overwhelming number of poems published these days are free verse, and I wish to champion traditional formal forms like the sonnet within which to create contemporary meaning.

If you want more background, visit TFN_background.

Last: Again -- Thank you for accepting this curious undertaking. If you have any questions, I'll be eager to respond.

 ATTACHED:
TFN_54. BarcelonaScrawl.pdf
TFN_54.BarcelonaScrawlTechnical.pdf
TFN_SonnetPrimer2024color.pdf




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lg
Of course I thought of you and your time and Rome and the Bernini St Teresa. You can be critical (which would lend credibility to the collection of comments I'm making), or tentative, or say it is a puzzle not worth the effort. Maybe the sonnet is a failure, or inadequate as a "scrawl" pointing to a transcendent moment. Maybe the mix of so many referenced religions is overwhelming and detracts from the poem. Maybe it is intriguing as part of a book whose sonnets are arranged by parts of the Mass. I'm not trying to give you ideas here, but to make it clear I will be happy with any approach that you take with encountering the sonnet. And if you decide this is not something you wish to do, it will not damage our friendship as I would not want to violate your limited energies or sensibilities in any way.

 
ds
Took me a while to figure this much out, but I would like to offer you  a token $100 for your comment on the sonnet.

jp
 Patrick Neas, who wrote the Sunday classical music previews for The Star for years, and my former intern, Geneva Blacker, now Research Assistant, Faculty of Catholic Theology at the University of Bonn, have written commentary about this sonnet; and I would be grateful if you chose to write about it.